Get out. Let me be. I am scared and I crave love. I do my best: put on my smile, curl my eyelashes and wipe the tears and redo my makeup for the 10th time before I leave. During these moments, I need to be perfect. I am even willing to die trying. I am tired. God, am I tired. The world is dark. I feel locked within myself, haunted by memories and flashbacks of my past life. Between the mania and the depression , I am there. I am the sweet but bitter coffee on a Sunday morning.
I am giggles at cartoons on a Saturday night. I am the gentleness after a wicked storm. I am also the deep and heavy wind before a hurricane.
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I am messy and I am imperfect. I am bright colors and a somber piano. I am finding joy between the madness. If you or someone you know needs help, visit our suicide prevention resources page. If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, you can call the National Eating Disorders Association Helpline at We want to hear your story.
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Join Us. Title: I have for you a crumbing hope Poem: I have for you a crumbling hope Title: future Author: janiek Poem Title: How do you know? Title: black dot Author: Chistoph Poem: Have you ever felt. Title: who are you Author: janiek Poem: we were dead before we were born Title: starvation Author: janiek Poem: the hopelessness is so hopeless Title: crumbled cookies Author: janiek Poem: two kinds of people Title: "the swing set" Author: janiek Poem: feet pushing Title: Angelic parasite Author: JustJess Poem: And in this dark fading night, i find a feeling far forgotten, it claws into my heart, with hunger''s delight, the feeling of nostalgia, tears shed from a bright invisible moon, hone down and splash into the puddles of my thoughts, as crashing waves loom, and i see my own liquid memories drain from my eyes, i watch as they fall, one by one, to the ground, the realisation shoots through me in screeching cries - i am alone.
I am the angelic parasite. Swimming, Swimming in moon tears, soaking in the wonder, guarding against seductions suicide spears, and i, the angelic parasite, filled with all the thunder, i am alone. Title: Fragments Author: T. Poem: The world is gone hopes and dreams To my black nonexistent soul..
Title: i remember you, i remember you Author: janiek Poem: i am too tired now to write anything Title: it never ends. Title: The Despair.. Author: SoS Poem: Its a dark road, i can see nothing but blackout, Title: mock your insides out Author: plhiszh Poem: Your reliant radiation Title: Bipolar the reality Author: megirl Poem: Bipolar, the pain this reality, Title: what can i do?
Author: Ray Poem: the shadows they are the first sign.
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Title: why now? Author: mark Poem: the meds i have and that i take help me forget Title: When Am I Me? Title: Such a perfect day. Author: evnous Poem: I wake up. Title: Looking out from the dark Author: Kenny Poem: Looking out from the dark shadows into the light Title: The glass of my deepest thought. Author: evnous Poem: While your eyes are shining through the glass of my deepest thought, Title: no choice to live Author: angie Poem: I am so tired of fighting you.
Title: My Mind. Author: Anonymous Poem: feel my feelings, i dare you so Title: bipolar madness Author: kate Poem: The dark shadow approaches always from behind Title: Spotlighting Author: janiek Poem: it was the kind of day Title: Pebbles of Sand Author: janiek Poem: trillions of sun-glittered diamonds Title: Moody Friendship Author: janiek Poem: how to lose the best friend Title: Silence Author: stormy Poem: Here were two little girls, Title: voices Author: sapphire Poem: The voices inside my mind are malicious. Title: Abyss Author: stormy Poem: Down into the abysmal abyss Title: heart Author: Marlene Poem: what is it that sinks when the heart does?
Title: demons in my head Author: lingy37 Poem: My old head hurts so much Title: Sheer Black Author: janiek Poem: i want to write words Title: broken steps Author: Beany Poem: I''d like to think to think again Title: no title Author: Anonymous Poem: I''m sick to death Title: From Where I stand. Author: Sandy Poem: Take the rain from my heart, Title: bicycle support wheel Author: millet Poem: bicycle support wheel Title: I want myself back!
Title: neither wins Author: John Poem: pain deeper in my chest now than I remember Title: Escape Author: tigger Poem: when in my head my throat i find Title: misery is my enemy Author: Deb Poem: misery is my enemy Title: hold on Title: Words between the wrinkles Poem: Crinkled, crusted and tanned, Title: Am I the one?
Author: Anonymous Poem: Struggling, fighting, Title: why? Author: mark Poem: I woke up only to see I was alive Title: Made in America Poem: Pretending to go to work each day Title: fiting the calling Author: t Poem: Tired all day Title: the end Author: Deb Poem: it''s the end of my world Electronic Technology. Title: And There Author: Cassie Poem: And there you went, I think you grew Title: my journey Author: Deb Poem: I''m on a life long journey Title: Bipolar or me? Author: Princess Poem: I used to think that everything happened for a reason, but what on earth could be the reason for me feeling the way I do?
Nothing ever fits together right and I always end up crying. Title: Does anyone out there have the key? Title: In the corner Author: zzzmykids Poem: In the corner Title: Sick of Author: Anonymous Poem: Sick of the world Title: Sleep? Title: more hurt Author: rod Poem: simple things Title: my birthday Author: Deb Poem: today is my birthday i don''t feel any cheer Title: ''Another stupid valentines day'' Author: patty Poem: Valentines day is almost amongst us here, and once again it has been another long and lonely year.
Title: depression is my enemy Author: Deb Poem: depression is my enemy Title: hot n cold mess Author: stelianna Poem: hahahhahahah yet i am crying, Title: Tomorrow Author: miffa Poem: Normalcy Title: my mother Author: Deb Poem: after all these years Title: It Ends Last Night? Except Internal Audit Wants to speak with you Title: nightmares and memories Author: Deb Poem: when will i reach the end?
Title: When tomorrow starts without me. Author: Anonymous Poem: When tomorrow starts without me To the dark corners of my mysteries Can anyone see The wick burning short to my skin I got crosscut scars Empty prescription bottles stacked neatly To remind me of the time To keep him from leaving that night Tongue tied twisted alone in my bed Will I ever sleep without dreaming again Title: i've lost my way Author: Deb Poem: i feel lost, i can't find my way Title: goodbye Author: Anonymous Poem: I have reached the end as they say Title: just for once Author: raven Poem: what is this world?
Title: too much Author: raven Poem: i sit there for hours Title: depression Author: raven Poem: my illness is back again Title: listen Author: raven Poem: you say youre not scared Title: nothingness Author: Deb Poem: miracles are nothing but a myth Title: loser Author: Deb Poem: i'm a loser i admit Title: Four dimensions Poem: The world exists around me, outside of me, Title: save me Author: Anonymous Poem: he is going to save me Title: Pest Poem: I've finally had some insight, Title: crashing down Author: Deb Poem: The world is crashing down on me Title: The ocean Poem: I walked towards the ocean.
Title: Depression Poem: You are my shadow, my vision, the first tear in the rain and the blood that stains the sky. You are the chains that bind, the anchor I drag and the footnote among the history that cannot be erased. Title: the fight Author: Deb Poem: my life is sometimes hard Title: The Funeral. Title: close the door on this life Author: Anonymous Poem: i'll cross my heart i'll hope to die, Title: Slipping Author: whatever Poem: Slipping, slipping, slipping Title: No solutions Poem: Answers are not solutions until they succeed.
Title: Erasure Poem: I am not good at setting down roots. I need the sensation of running away, of escaping and starting cleanly; a new untainted canvas. To put distance in kilometers if nothing else between my past and my present selves. To erase who I was from living memory.
I do not want to know that person. I do not want to be that person. Title: I need to believe in something Poem: I believe that our truths will only hurt those around us Title: which one do you want? Author: mark Poem: stopped taken my meds Title: black dog Author: Deb Poem: my mind is going so slow today Title: Two lives Poem: I look around at these days we travel through, Title: The closed door Author: whatever Poem: The door is now closed, never to open again, Title: Sometimes I miss me, I cry.
Title: anorexia Author: Deb Poem: i once knew a girl of average height Title: bipolar storm Author: Deb Poem: the bipolar storm has hit Title: Trust yourself Author: whatever Poem: Trust yourself Title: A room full of darkness Author: whatever Poem: A room full of darkness Title: Is it me that cannot see? Author: whatever Poem: I feel so alone Title: the fool Author: whatever Poem: Her arms outstretched Title: sad mind and heart Author: whatever Poem: Staring into space, my mind feels broken, Title: The faceless one Author: whatever Poem: I can't gaze upon my reflection As I struggle to wake up and get out of bed, I hope and pray that this "new day" will bring some sort of joy.
Not knowing what kind of mood I will be in, I get ready to go out and face the world. Title: tired Author: Deb Poem: happiness seems so far from reach Title: Understand? Author: Anonymous Poem: I move, Title: My Day!!! Title: the mask!!!! Title: Gutter Author: toria53 Poem: It's come again Title: Shame Author: toria53 Poem: Thighs rubbing Title: outsider looking in!!! Author: mark Poem: I told you I have a problem Title: S.
Author: Anonymous Poem: The noonday sun sinks Title: desperation Author: Anonymous Poem: I live in this other world Title: cant get away Author: Sean Poem: down and out Title: who am i? Author: jfran Poem: As I lay here on the floor lifeless and sore Title: Depressed Author: toria53 Poem: Thoughts spewing out like molten lava Title: sick Author: bull Poem: Stayed at home from work today, Title: Relief Poem: This is the day of relief. The day where I can look forward to the time where I can blend seamlessly into the blackness around me.
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This decomposition process seems unjustly infinite. Title: what is life Author: iwilhelpu Poem: life is time Title: time Author: mark Poem: So where is this great time saver that helps me stop these thoughts of depression?
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You said it would ease my mind racing, my thoughts from going out of control. You where wrong. I race as fast as before and it scares me and I can have four conversations. So great at first then people said they can't understand my thoughts, they're too fleeting for one conversation.
Title: The reflection of a destiny. Title: self destruction Author: mark Poem: I thought about you when I was feeling up Title: Into the darkness Poem: Into the darkness cometh my fears, Title: the end Author: mark Poem: you told me you loved me Title: Open Wounds. Title: what does it feel like? Author: mark Poem: What does it feel like to be depressed, Title: falling Author: mark Poem: when I fall Title: too many doors Author: Anonymous Poem: "take the pills that help you stay calm" Title: Erase.
Smile Author: nadaan Poem: the voices in the head say "there is no magic pill Title: blackness of winter Author: Deb Poem: With winter comes a stream of tears Title: Preoccupation Author: kez Poem: Please leave me alone, Title: What is. Poem: My heart has a dark core, Title: You can't stop me, this is mine. Evans Poem: Blackness falls beneath my heart The author covers a variety of issues that teens go through; loss of a parent or loved one, addiction, the struggles and downsides of the foster care system in the United States, as well as dealing with the darkness that comes with it all.
The darkness that falls on your mind and your body. I think it definitely helps that the book is based on true events, the authenticity shines through every page. The characters in this book were all very enjoyable. There was a lot of development in each of them and you get lots of background into what made them the way they are today. Her mom is the only person she has ever really been able to rely on her entire life. Since she has no other known family, as her mom kept her dads identity a secret all these years, she ends up in the foster care system.
She meets some other kids and teens along the way and truly has to find out who she is without her mother there to take care of her. So go read it, now! This next Warrior is someone I am in awe of. I reached out to Lauren back in April after coming across her page on Instagram. Seeing how open she is about her mental health, I knew I had to ask her to share her story with you guys.
Although she suffers from a variety of mental ailments, she is so strong and using her platform just like me, to raise awareness about the issues surrounding mental health. She immediately accepted my offer and here is her story. During the first week of grade eight, I suddenly felt very down. I lost all my motivation, and cried.
I barely slept which made it almost impossible for me to get up and go to school in the morning. After a week of staying in bed, my mother brought me to the clinic, and they assumed I had mono.
Finding Peace with Bipolar Disorder
The following Monday, as my mom attempted to get me to go to school again, I experienced my first panic attack. Later, I was then diagnosed with anxiety and depression. My mother decided it was best to homeschool me until I could cope a little better. My life was a constant rollercoaster. Some days I could go to school and others I could barely function. I ended up being homeschooled for over half of the year from grade eight until grade ten, when I was put into the dropout program with the school board due to my lack of attendance.
Throughout those years, I was put on many different medications and tried multiple forms of counselling. Unfortunately, nothing seemed to work. I struggled badly with my mental health. And I used very bad mechanisms to cope with life. The main things I did to cope included self-harm, isolation, pushing away everyone I loved, crying, and eating. My life had gotten to the point where I had to be hospitalized twice because my life was at risk and I was extremely suicidal.
I was very alone and afraid. All my friends had either abandoned me, or I was being severely bullied by them. I barely left my room. If I happened to go out in public, I would experience extreme panic attacks and would draw a lot of unwanted attention to myself.
Years later, at the age of 17, I was graduating from a new high school. My life had finally seemed to turn around and became okay. I was accepted into my program of choice at the local university during early acceptance. So, I decided to go to the well-known college in my hometown. When post-secondary started, my life went downhill.
I was put back on medication. This medication ended up reacting negatively with my body, therefore, making me go crazy and caused me to contemplate suicide. I also developed an eating disorder which lead me to lose an unhealthy 20 pounds off my already small body. I realized I hated the program I was in. I felt like my life was ending. I ended up dropping out of the program and studying general arts for a few years. As schooling continued, my eating disorder got worse. I ended getting down to a weight of 80 lbs and being admitted to hospital. I spent 3 months on the medical unit on an IV and NG tube, and after gaining some weight, I was sent to the states for another 4 months for residential treatment.
Life after treatment was great, I thought I was improving, and I was finally happy. A little too happy. Little did I know I was experiencing a manic episode. That fall, I was diagnosed with bipolar and borderline personality disorder. And mine just happened to be a crash. I ended up relapsing in self harm and doing other impulsive things trying put myself at risk. To this day, I am still trying to figure out which mixture of medications work for me.
And I am happy to say that after dropping out of school for a year I am finally going back in the fall for social work. My ultimate dream is to become a public speaker, I hope to bring awareness to mental health issues and help people understand how real they are. I want to bring light into the eyes of those who only see darkness, like I have in many times in my life. I am already starting this process by sharing my story on my recovery account, laurenhourtovenko, on Instagram.
My goal for this platform is just to give one person a reason to continue fighting. Now, go be a wildflower. Not only were you courageous enough to start your social media profiles about your life and your struggles, but you were willing to share your life with a total stranger when you sent this to me. It is such a privilege to share your stories. First off, I am obsessed with this collection of poetry. Heartbreak, being in love, losing yourself, etc. I feel like anyone can relate to her poetry in their own way. I love authors that do this division because it makes it easier for me to read only poems that I need during that time.
And it is insanely successful! It really makes my heart whole. Overall she does an amazing job making the poems personal, while still expressing herself in a way that others can sympathize with. Lastly, I just love her writing style. Poetry is very hit or miss for a lot of people based upon what style of writing they enjoy.
Personally, I really enjoy her writing style and the way she verbalizes her thoughts and feelings. I love the flow, I love the way the words form together into something beautiful and heartfelt. Hello all! Welcome to my May Mental Health Discussion. Now, I was a silly 12 year old at the time, not realizing that this portrayal of mental illness was the extreme, so bare with me.
I automatically. Most people can stay in their right mind and not deal with this severe of a mental episode. However, most people suffering from a mental disorder do not have these sorts of issues. I did not realize this until I was about 15 or 16 years old, when I first started going to therapy. Going to therapy and speaking to a professional, I came to realize that I was mentally ill.
But I did not relate at that time to Norman Bates. I began to question everything! So, I did my research and started to understand that mental illness comes in all shapes and sizes. Now, fast forward to today — I am an advocate for mental health. And I DO NOT like the way that mental illness is portrayed in the media for the most part; there are always exceptions. The majority of cases, I see mental health patients portrayed as absolutely batshit insane.
And this makes me so mad! Even then, you may just notice a few oddities, nothing overly prominent. While this is an innocent enough thing to say, the way it makes people such as myself feel is not great. It almost belittles the struggles that we go through.
The media only wants to show people at their worst and lowest point — they like the dramatic. This could not be further from the truth. For the first time, it felt like reading about my own life. So while I am irritated with how mental illnesses come across, there are exceptions to every rule. First off, as I just explained, a lot of mentally ill humans are able to maintain and manage all on their own with the help of medication and therapy.
Anyone who suffers. Nobody takes your concerns seriously and it takes a lot for people to even agree to put you on medication for anything. Nevermind going to a hospital and begging for help during a psychotic episode. As someone who experiences these episodes, I have never been admitted to the hospital for it. So to say that the first time someone reaches out for help they end up being forced into a psych ward involuntarily is very unlikely. Even the most severe cases, you may never know what someone is going through.